Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Gators, Daffodils and Mushroom Clouds.....

It's been a while since I've posted and I was enjoying a period of peace and tranquility! We did meet with Jennifer at Indigo Pines and she was very good with my mother.  She gave her the opportunity to express her concerns about relocating (mostly leaving the place she's lived all of your life, the time it will take to organize things, etc.) and Jennifer presented ways of approaching each issue.  It also gave me an opportunity to say some things (my concern for her being there on her own, her cycle of declining health when she goes home, better health care here, the fear of something happening and putting her straight into a nursing home, etc.) that needed to be expressed.  I appreciated being able to discuss everything in a calm, non-explosive setting, which was provided by the presence of Jennifer.  All seemed to be going well........

She has now done a total reversal and wants to "GO HOME AND STAY UNTIL I DIE!"  To say the situation has turned tense would be a vast understatement.  There is nothing I can say or do that isn't interpreted in the worse possible way.......and I'm just a little stink bomb in defense of her nuclear attack.  I try very hard not to be suckered into an argument, but it's soooo very hard.  On Sunday I went for a 7 mile walk to clear my head and "let it go".  Today after an explosion when I asked what was causing her cough (meaning a tickle or phlegm, because we had just seen the doctor last week and he said he'd call in an antibiotic if things didn't clear), which she took to mean 'you're irritating me, get thee out of the room'!  She unloaded on me and left the room.  Once she had time to settle down, I went in and reminded her that the whole episode was caused over that one question......I restated the question AND what I meant by the question.  I then asked her what I did to get that response.  To that there was total silence (passive aggressive).  For me, it's a lose-lose situation.....so it really doesn't much matter what I do or say, but I think I'm going to keep calling her on it until she either talks or stops doing it.......or one of us dies (of old age!)!

So, it looks like I'll be taking her home. I've contacted folks there and she should be able to get someone to help her around the house one day a week beginning mid-April.  Once I know when she can get meals-on-wheels, I'll take her up.  I don't think it's the best thing to do in many respects, but in other ways it's the only place she wants to be and the only place she'll be happy.  What we have now isn't healthy for either of us.  Even if it only lasts a short while, it will give us a break.......and perhaps a different view of things (ever the optimist!).  The longer she's away from NC, the more she idealizes it, remembering everything and everyone there as good and perfect, with none of that happening here.

A neighbor said this would be the hardest thing I would every do and, so far, she's been 100% right.

Other than that, everything's just great!!!  Today is Super Tuesday and I'm joining my Living Liberally friends this evening at the Boathouse.  Another friend, Chris, and I had a great lunch at a new wine boutique.  It's a new concept here.....you load a card with your budget for the night and you can use it at any of the many wine dispensers, getting either a taste or a glass.  It really is a clever idea and I hope it flies for the owners.  The food was good and the owners very friendly.  She asked our wine preferences and then brought us a great glass of wine to accompany our lunch.  It was a little different and fun.....and Chris and I have a lot in common and the chat was good.

Due to the circumstances, I had to cancel dinner with another friend but hope to see her tonight.  She also belongs to my vegetarian group, but I haven't made it to that in months and she's missed LL.  So, hope we can touch bases soon.  I have been trying to get out and about....to maintain some kind of life, but it isn't easy!

As you can gather from my Sunday walk, they have become almost therapeutic.  Last month I walked 80 miles and, with my 7 miler on Sunday, I could pass that mark this month.  Spring is definitely in the air and red buds, azaleas, daffodils, Chinese fringe, etc. are all in bloom. It's nice to be able to get out and enjoy it all......without humidity!

By the time you read this, Super Tuesday will be over but I wanted to pass along this "voter's guide".  Who comes up with these things??  I'd love to be this clever and this funny.  Enjoy!!