Hurricane Sandy and Other Things

We are happy and grateful to report that we hardly felt the presence of Hurricane Sandy.  She passed by here several days ago and was noticed only by an overcast day with a bit of wind and rain.  All things considered, it was very minimal.  I was expecting two "house bound" days when we only had one.  By mid morning of the second day, the sun was out.  She did usher in cooler temperatures and the wind has been gusting since then, but the sun is shining, which makes it all bearable for me. Thanks to all who have asked about our welfare.....it's nice to be thought about.

On Monday I took advantage of early voting, which in some ways was a discouraging experience.  This is a very red county/state and people were streaming in to vote early.  At that rate there should be very few people left to vote on Election Day!  So, I envisioned my one little Democrat vote being cast in a sea of Republican votes!  I can only hope the reverse is true in other parts of the country.  Now that I've voted, I called the Democratic Headquarters to volunteer to drive people to the polls. I've not be able to do much else, but this is something I think I can do to help.....and  my mother can even ride along, so we will both feel we're doing something for the cause.

Since my home situation and the election are not creating enough tension in my life, I've become addicted to Homeland!  Since I just get the basic cable package (I thought) I didn't even try to find it until several weeks ago.....and, lo and behold, there it was AND it was a marathon weekend reviewing season one.  I didn't get to sit long enough to catch every detail, but I did get the jist of the characters and the plot.  Each episode seems to leave me wondering where it can possibly go next......very good!

There was one very pleasant surprise this week......I heard from my longtime Canadian friend Jean, with whom I thought I'd lost contact.  She was having health problems at about the same time I became overwhelmed with caring for my mother.  Something happened with her email address and I never got replies, so I really didn't know what happened.  Somehow, after all this time, she figured out that there was an email problem and she got in touch.  She's doing well and it's great to be in contact again......there are hopes our paths may cross again.

On that positive note, I'll leave you with some political humor.......WARNING: Republicans without a sense of humor may want to stop here!

Lets start with Fox News and right wing media......

The Debates.....

For once I agree with Newt......now if he would just get back under his rock!

Republicans....

 Is this too harsh?

 

Happy Halloween...

 

And my personal favorite......

Things are Slowly Improving....

Wildlife scenes from our local paper....this is an Ibis (I think).

I'm still here and things are slowly improving, though I'm afraid to say that too loudly.  My mother has had four good days in a row........I've had two!  My mother's good turn is probably due to her meds.  She was prescribed 25 mg of Seroquel before all of this happened, but when she came out of the hospital, they reduced it to 12.5 mg (along with taking her off Ativan cold turkey and  Lunesta gradually).  After four days in bed complaining of everything and getting progressively agitated, I gave her the full dose again.  The doctor said it might be necessary as things progressed, and I determined we had reached that point.  After two days, she was out of bed and more "with it."  One of the nurses with Amedisys was amazed at the improvement and said it was the right thing to do......and it's nice to have things on a more even keel.

Osprey with catch.

As for me, I'm just bone tired.  Both last night, and as I'm writing this, I sat with a heating pad on my Ben Gay slathered neck and shoulders.  By the end of the day they feel totally locked and achy, with little mobility.  Though our weather has been great, I've only walked about 4 times in weeks, so my energy level is zero. Once I get going I can do pretty well; but, when I stop, the little energy I have evaporates.  Even so, as my mother shows improvement, I'm hoping for more normalcy, flexibility and relaxation.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Things have been like a three ring circus in that we have had a physical therapist in twice a week, a nurse twice a week and a speech therapist once a week. Even so, it is much easier than trying to get my mother to outside appointments.  They have all be helpful, kind and knowledgeable. It has also given me a lot of comfort to know they are here to call upon when needed.

As seems to be the pattern, I've had the revelation that things go easier for me (and possibly for my mother, too) if I stop trying to "fix" things that can't be fixed......or that depend on anyone else for it to happen.  The tendency is to want to fix whatever is going badly for those we love, but some things can't be fixed and it's best to acknowledge that rather than being caught up in trying to accomplish the impossible. The most I can do is make it as good a day as possible on any given day.  Like so many of these revelations, they seem clear and logical until caught up in the drama of the moment/crisis, and then they vanish into thin air.......but it's working for the time being.

The people in the background have to be tourists!!

In the midst of all this, I've done a will, Power of Attorney, Advance Directive and Health Power of Attorney for myself.  I know.  I know.......I should have done this long ago, but I'm just now getting around to it.  Everything is ready to be signed, notarized and witnessed next week.  I also managed to have lunch with a friend for the first time in a long time.....and it was great.  I got someone to come in and stay with Mama so I could really relax and enjoy the outing.

Politics also figure largely into my schedule......to the point of having "picture in picture" on TV, MSNBC non-stop, etc.  I'm greatly relieved that the President showed up for the second debate and did well.  We're down to 18 or so days until Election Day and I don't know if I'll be able to stand it.  We mailed my mother's absentee ballot today, so that's one more thing out of the way.......and I'm thinking of voting early.  I can simply by virtue of my age......how depressing is that?!?

Yesterday Mama was feeling better and needed some fresh air and exercise, so we took our chairs to the Church of the Cross and sat on the bluff overlooking the May River....pretty much the spot where this photo was taken.  My friend Cheryl is the person who took this beautiful sunset.  She's a kayaker and paddle-boarder and frequently posts some great photos on her Facebook page.  This one is especially nice.

On the Home Front

Well, I was going to tell you how Fall arrived right on schedule and how nice the weather has been, which it has.  Right around Labor Day the temperature dropped into the 80s and it's been wonderful for walking and everything else.  But, things have transpired to put all of that in the background.  On Friday, September 21, my mother went to her doctor for a regularly scheduled followup.  I had spoken to him privately about "sundowners" which she has been experiencing for some time and which seem to be getting worse (taking all of the bed clothes off and folding them up, putting her complicated ankle brace on in the dark, talking to people, etc.)....He prescribed Seroquel at that time.  I had the prescription filled but read up on it and decided to wait as it had very mixed reviews.  Since the sundowners continued, we discussed it during her appointment and decided to give it to her beginning that night.

While there, she asked about Gabapentin, which is a medication that a friend of hers said had helped her neuropathy.  This is something we have mentioned repeatedly to her doctor and it was like the first he had learned she had it!!  I was a bit perturbed by that!  Anyway, he said she could try it. On the way home I dropped of the prescription, to be picked up the next day.

So Friday night she took the Seroquel (a low dosage) and slept calmly.  The next morning she was more active and chatty than usual.....more herself, really.  She said she thought it also calmed her anxiety through the day, with the only drawback being that it made her a bit drowsey.  All-in-all at win.  In the meantime, I picked up the Gabapentin and she started that the following day. In a very short time I realized things were happening.......anger, agitation, etc., though I have to say that I've seen this before, especially when she's demanding to go home and stay.  It got so bad that on Monday I "ran away from home".......which proved a big mistake!  I spent Sunday cooking so there was lots of food in the house and I had lot of errands to run, so I excused myself and did them.  I came home around lunchtime and she was out on the front porch and Gabby was out, so I thought he had mistakenly gotten out and she was trying to corral him.  As I drove up, it scared him and he headed to the door, she let him in. By the time I parked and got in the house, she was in her room.  We had a brief exchange and I went back out to get the car washed and finish the errands.  Little did I know that she had become delusional and was imagining this scenario of people in the house hurting her.  There were drugs involved (possibly because of what the medication had done to her) and lord knows what else.  She was still angry and agitated Monday night, which was restless and fitful.  By mid-morning on Tuesday it appeared that she was tiring and settling in bed, so I took a shower.  Allan called as I was getting out of the shower, so I threw something on and we talked.  As we're talking, I hear someone knocking on the front door and my mother is there knocking as hard as she can, looking out the side panel and calling my cousin (who is not there) to come help her.  By the time I get there, she opens the door and goes out on the porch (in her pajamas, night cap, one shoe on and one shoe off).  When I try to approach her, she moves away and as I hold on to the back of her pajamas, she starts hitting me.  So, I move back, fearing that she will fall and really hurt herself.  She calls for help from passersby and then goes into the street.  Someone stopped and kept her attention until I could go in and call 911.  Once they left, she came back onto the porch and we sat there until the police and EMS arrived.  They could not have been better to both Mama and me.  By this time I'm pretty much a mess, too.  Since her heart was racing, they decided to take her to the hospital......I was stunned they would even consider not taking her and I think they realized that.....I don't know how I would have managed her on my own. We were in the ER from about 11AM until finally getting a room at 9PM.  That was an ordeal for me and I can only imagine how my 91 year old mother felt.  Once she was settled and sleeping, I came home for a partial night's sleep.  The next morning she was up and bathing (with the help of a nurse) when I arrived.  She appeared much better, although as the day progressed I realized she was still caught up in her imaginings......thinking the situation would be in the news, there would be a trial and that I was trying to hurt her!  She wasn't so out of it that she did everything possible to get to go home and, sure enough, she was discharged at 5PM!  We had dinner and she stayed up a while, before going to bed and appearing to sleep well.  But, the next day was like night and day....angry, agitated, etc. The following day was quieter and more settled.

The hospital made changes to her meds (including dropping the Gabapentin, which I had already done early on) and told us to see her regular doctor for a followup. We saw him on Monday of this week and they could immediately see a major change in her mental state, by then mostly confusion and major memory loss......and through it all her plea to "go home.....I want to go home!"  It's all just heartbreaking. She doesn't remember her doctors.  She doesn't remember that we were just in NC three weeks ago.  It's amazing that there can be such a change in that short time.  I was becoming more and more aware of confusion, memory loss and how she was appearing to cope......but this change happened over night....or at least over three days. Even today, she saw her eye doctor in the morning and by the afternoon she couldn't remember the details.....she remember we did something, but couldn't remember what.  Add to that the condition of her macular degeneration....she is legally blind now, but she does "see" things in motion, like rain, snow or smoke.  Riding in the car or trying to watch TV really confuses her and makes her feel sick.  It's a dreadful situation and I'm hoping things will settle as soon as possible.

In any case, her doctor recommended a home health nurse come by and make an assessment.  They set those wheels in motion and we were called at 9:30 on Wednesday by Susan, the nurse, asking if she could come at 10AM for the assessment.  She was thorough, friendly, supportive and very gentle with my mother....could not have been better.  From her visit, we have met Michael, the physical therapist, and Florry, the speech therapist.  I wasn't sure what a speech therapist would do, but she will help my mother with her memory and other procedures that might make life easier for her.  I've also received a call from another person whom I haven't spoken to yet so I don't know what their job will be, but I can tell you is that I am so grateful for their support and services, especially since they will happen at home and eliminate the stress and strain of getting to an outside appointment.

In addition to all of the comings and goings of those folks, my mother saw the doctor about her shoulder yesterday and her eye specialist today.  So it has been fast and furious....and pretty much exhausting.  The physical therapist is coming tomorrow and we are hoping to just have some time to rest over the next few days.  While I feel like it has been an ordeal, I can't imagine how difficult it has been for Mama and how frightening is must all seem. I'm doing my best but I have moments of total sadness and emotional collapse.  It's just a difficult time, though I do feel supported by the services provided and the kind, caring people who are helping.

So last night I was going to watch the debate for some reassurance and solace  If you watched and have similar political leanings, you can commiserate.  Cheryl and I "messaged" on our iPads, which was the only solace I received.  I'm sure the President learned from the experience and I don't think it will happen again, regardless of which Mitt he debates; but, boy was that a disappointment.  I think the fact-checkers will disprove a lot of Mitt's rhetoric, but the sad thing is that facts don't really matter.  I read today that many Ohioans think Romney had much to do with the killing of Bin Laden.  Now try to explain that!!  It all defies logic.

My Hometown...

Included in all of the crap I subscribe to on the internet are two sites from my hometown, Wadesboro, NC.  One informs of all upcoming events in town and the other is the newspaper, The Anson Record.  In one of them I learned that they were removing the facade from the old Belk's Department Store.  Belk's was one of the nicer department stores in many parts of the south and our little town was proud of have one.

This facade had, in my opinion, been an eyesore as it was totally incongruous with the rest of the town, but it had been there so long  (1955) that I couldn't even remember what was behind it.  So, when my mother and I were in North Carolina, I made a point to go up to see what was happening....and this is what we found.

What a beautiful, old building with character and charm!  I loved it!  As I was taking this photo, a couple approached and we began talking......they were there for the same reason!  He had gone to school at Wadesboro High School and now lives in the Raleigh area. She was the wife of Luther Morris, a (deceased) distant cousin whom I really did not know.  He mentioned that the movie theater had recently been renovated (which I also knew via the internet) and that it is now used for various programs.....and that if anyone was in the office next door, they would let us go inside and take a look.  So the day turned into a tour of my hometown!

The whole town centered around one major intersection.  This green space beside Belk's goes to that intersection and when I was a kid it was filled with a family owned jewelry store and Fox and Lyon's Drug Store, complete with a long soda fountain.  Unfortunately, it burned down many years ago and the spot stood empty and poorly tended.  The little bandstand is used for town functions and is an improvement over a vacant lot.

Below Belk's (going away from the main square) was a furniture store...and I can't remember what the other two shops were.  The white building at the bottom of the street was the mortuary.  Like many of the other businesses that once occupied these buildings, the mortuary has moved along the major highway.

One of the buildings is now being used as a consignment shop......and the Belk building is part of the county government buildings.

Consignment Shop

Directly across the street from the Belk building is the court house, which is very typical of small Southern towns.

It had recently been cleaned and looked very good. Unfortunately, the requisite Confederate soldier statue doesn't show up against the tree, but it's there! The building that you can see just beyond the magnolia tree is the Post Office.  I believe that some part of the court house was used in the filming of The Color Purple but I don't know the details.  Shortly after we were there, they did this in honor of those who died on 9/11.

A flag for each person who died on 9/11.

This pleasant  little rest area, a DAR Memorial, takes us from the court house to the main square.

From the square, we look straight down the street in the opposite direction.

The corner store on the right is the same drugstore that has been there as long as I can remember (directly across the square from Fox and Lyon's).  The buildings beyond the drug store now hold a bank and law offices.  The light, boxy building before the trees is the local library.  The corner building on the left was another fashionable department store but has now been converted to local government offices.  Immediately beyond that is H.W Little Hardware, another longtime business.

I was pleased to nab this photo off a web site because my father worked at Little's for many years before opening a small general store of his own about 5 miles out of town.  I went in recently and it really is much like it was years ago. Those old hardware stores are treasures and wonderful to browse in, if you can find one. In the old days, there was a dress shop and a florist below Little's.  You can see that along the two intersecting streets you could find everything you wanted and needed......life was simple!

If you walked past Belk's and Fox and Lyon's to the square and turned right, you would be walking down this street.  In my youth, there were two "dime stores" - Rose's and Eagles - along this street.  The store at the end of the street was a men's shop and the one next to it was Lillian's, a "high end" ladies shop.  Now I think there is a video shop and florist, along with some that are just empty.  Every time I see a street like this I always think how nice it would be if the upstairs were turned into apartments.....and somehow businesses could be attracted to the street level.  City management has probably thought of the same thing, so it must not be easy to do.

Along the "lower street" was the Ansonia, our local movie theater that closed many years ago, with the nearest one now being about 30+ miles away.  It was good to hear that it had been renovated and was actually used.  Unfortunately, the office was closed and we didn't get to go inside, but we will try again another day. 

It was along this street (near where I am standing when this photo is taken) that my mother's friend Ada had her beauty shop (and lived in an apartment behind it).  There was also a barber shop right beside it, along with a tea room.  And at the corner was one of  my favorite places.....Mack's Record Rack.

Mack's was downstairs and one of the unusual things about it was that it was owned and operated, lo those many years ago, by a black man, which may also account for the good music that appealed to young people.  Most of the records were 45s and he would let us listen to them before buying. This really did bring back memories.

While this whole little tour was unplanned, it brought back childhood memories and a bit of sadness.   It's sad to see those buildings languish...and good to see some effort being put into restoring and bringing some of them back.  Wadesboro is probably typical of many small towns where businesses have moved to hideous, flimsy strip malls along the major thoroughfare, leaving the older, distinguished  buildings standing empty and neglected.  While there is much to be done, it's nice to see that there is some interest in reviving the city center and I hope it continues.

That ends the tour.  Next time I'll give an update on the home front but thought you might like something different.  Anyone else from a small town like Wadesboro??

Official Wadesboro web site

Uptown Wadesboro

Wadesboro in Wikipedia

September Update

My mother and I are in NC.  We came up today (Saturday) and will probably go back on Tuesday.  She is always wanting to come home long enough to "get some things done"......meaning to come and stay.  Whenever we come for a short time, she "doesn't know where to start".  That truly is a problem when one is not willing to part with anything.  So, here we are, sitting in the midst of it all, which is really what she wanted anyway.....except she wants to do it until she dies!

Anyway, as those of you who know me might guess, my major source of enjoyment for the last few days has been the Democratic Convention.  And, boy, was it good or what!  It has been MSNBC or C-Span 24/7 except for the nightly analysis  by Stewart and Colbert!!  Could the differences in the parties and the people they represent be any more clearly defined than they were by these two conventions?   The energy was wonderful and exciting.  The diversity was great to see and the speeches were fantastic.....Michelle set the standard and Bill knocked the ball our of the park!  I thought Joe Biden was unusually sedate, but I think he had to set up the President, who did a wonderful job.  Those were certainly the highlights (along with Deval Partick and Jennifer Granholm), but keep in my that I start early and watch C-Span so I can hear all of the lesser known speakers, too.  I love it....and it could not have gone better!

My hope is that reasonable conservatives will finally be moved away from the dark side.  In fact, I was encouraged by a neighbor whom I met during my walks. I hadn't seen her in a while and when I was out a few days ago she passed by in her car and pulled over.  We usually chat about our mothers, but somehow we got onto the economy.   She described herself as an Independent and was talking about how bad the economy was where her daughter lived, which I took as a complaint against the President.  I said, "It sounds like you're leaning toward Romney".  I hardly had it out before she said, "NO!".....she thinks they're all psychopaths...her word, not mine. We then had a great rant!  It was fun and I think we were both happy to find a kindred spirit.  My hope is that she is a reflection of how other Independents and reasonable conservatives will view things.  I was encouraged....though I don't think we can take anything for granted.

I'm not sure how else I've used my time or where it has gone.  There is always something to do.  Now that my mother's vision has gone, she needs help with everything.....with things as simple as pouring coffee or milk, doing her hair before going out, selecting earrings/ jewelry (I tease her because she's meticulous about selecting her jewelry and then may forget her teeth!), getting shoes on the right feet.......all of the little things.  So everything takes more time and patience, and it feels that as soon as I get seated or settled into something, my services are needed.  While I have nothing worthy of mention, I've never stopped.....and some things just drag on and on: 

• I'm still working on the Aid and Attendance Benefits from the VA.  We just got her medical exam done last Friday.  There is still one more piece of information to provide and that process should be complete....Inshallah!
• Weeks and weeks ago we/I pulled and dug up four huge bushes in my front yard, leaving a bare space for all this time.  This past week we bought azaleas (thus precipitating the story of my feeble mind and the two Ronnie's!) and planted them.  Believe me, this isn't my thing but it is something my mother enjoys and it gets her outside........and, if I have company, I really don't mind it.....I just don't know anything about it.  There are still areas in the back yard that "she" wants to do, which means more digging for me!

 

From this....and overgrown mass of bushes (May)

 

 

To this....total lack of ability or knowledge!  (June)

To this....Two Sky Pencils and four Azaleas.....even now you have to use your imagination!!

I'm hoping these will look nice once they grow and become full. I have to come up with some mulch or ground cover and there is space for a bird bath....so still more to do, but I have a feeling it will be an ongoing project.

 

------------------------------------------------------

We're home now (Wednesday) and had a relatively good visit.  My mother and I had our usual kerfuffles, but lots of the relatives visited and that part was unusual and fun.  I came to the realization that nothing is going to change with the house......she will not sell it or clear things out.  I keep thinking that if she did one or both, it would worry her less.  She is going to worry about something all the time and there is nothing I can do to prevent that.  Again, it is something I understand intellectually but it's very difficult not to be drawn in to trying to "fix it".  Anyway, I'm happy to be home!

Before we went up, we got a little marker for Tuffy.  He's buried between two Sago Palms right outside the sun room.

We brought back with us a small gym that my mother had for her kitties.....and they took right to it, although it's been empty since the photo shoot.

For something totally different......I love this, both the picture and the words, and am sending it your way!

Set your life on fire.

Seek those who fan your flames.

-Rumi

Where to Begin...

It's been a while since I've posted.  A lot of time has passed and a lot has happened...a mixed bag.  Let it suffice to say that I was premature in thinking the other mother had gone away.  That sense of well being was short lived.  We vacillated between arguing and sullen silences right up until Allan arrived.  This is where it becomes surreal.....Mama was so pissed with me that she was syrupy sweet to Allan.  He is her new BFF......and her new BFF didn't know what was happening!!  Welcome to my world.  It was so strange and strained that after a couple of days Allan left the hotel and stayed here just to take the heat off me.  Allan must have thought he'd gotten an E-ticket for the House of Horrors!!  Anyway, he was very good, patient (a word not often associated with Allan) and caring to my mother, so peace did reign for a while.

It was good to see Allan after two years.  Believe it or not, there are no photos of his visit because he is camera shy and I look like hell.....so you'll have to take my word for it.  I picked him up on a Friday around 10:30 PM in Savannah.  We sat up and talked until about 2AM, so Saturday was a late morning.  I already had a job for him as I'd bought a new kitty gym at my local, favorite thrift shop.  Once everyone was up and going, we went to pick it up and disposed of the old one, which I hated to see go as it held fond memories of the person who gave it to me.  Even so, the kitties seem pleased with the new one.

 

Anyway, the week went by quickly and most of our time was just spent catching up, doing what one or the other of us needed done, and having a few nice dinners out.  The low point of the week was having to put my mother's cat, Tuffy (Bitin' Bob), to sleep.  We were all basket cases and I had decided to take him to the vet myself.  At the last minute my mother was in tears asking her BFF Allan to go with me, so he's pressured into going, and now I have to look after the cat and Allan (Allan and I had already agreed that I would take Tuffy to the vet and he would bury him).  Anyway, when the time came I asked Allan to just stay in the waiting room and I would stay with Tuffy.  It was so sad.....he was so frail that he never moved after they gave him a sedative, but I stayed with him, held his head and stoked him until he was gone.  By that time, I was "gone" and so was Allan.  Everyone at the Vet's office was wonderful and understanding.  They thought my mother would want to see him one more time so they wrapped him so that she could see his face. We took him home but couldn't bury him because it was raining.  We all commiserated a while and then Allan and I went to Truffles for an early dinner.  We had a leisurely, enjoyable dinner and on the way home realized that it had stopped raining.  So, we went home and buried Tuffy, with all in attendance......followed by a group hug.  It was a difficult thing to do, but I'm so glad not to see that little kitty becoming sicker by the day.....he was so sick and my mother couldn't part with him until that time.  Anyway, you can imagine that after 30 years this may be the first time that Allan was happy to go back to Saudi!

While Allan was marveling at the goings on here, we came in one day and I had a phone message from my friend Pamela, who was in town for 6 months to help her 91 year old mother relocate.  She was calling from Phoenix......on her way back home to California!!  This is the Pamela with whom I had plans for a trip to Charleston and an Elton John concert. I called her later and she simply had it with her mother.  I'm not sure of the details, but she just couldn't deal with it any more.  So, Charleston is off.......but I told Allan that I was getting so anxious about the machanics of it all that it was almost counterproductive.  I'm also selling the EJ tickets, if I can, because it's just too much work to arrange everything and hope it goes well.  Needless to say, I'm so sorry that Pamela has gone, but I can certainly understand her situation.  I will miss her good company, thoughtful conversation, and encouragement.

Both Pamela and Allan encouraged me to "seek help" so before Allan left I had a list of phone numbers to call.  My first was the Aging and Disability Resource Center of the Lowcountry.....way out in the middle of Yamessee.  It's really a lovely location, but in the middle of nowhere.  Anyway, Karen, whom I had talked with on the phone, invited Claire, Family Caregiver Advocate, to join us.  I arrive early and am waiting to be received and thinking that we've had a couple of good days at home and I can get through this okay.  They then greet me and we go into a meeting room and within 20 seconds I'm in tears!!  Of course, I'm mortified, but they are so nice and gentle that I relax and just let it happen.  I came away from the meeting recognizing that my mother is not as mentally sharp as I like to think.....things are going on.  They recommend a program called Dementia Dialogues, which I've signed up for beginning late September.   They also suggested I talk with her doctor (which I've already done on various occasions) and ask him to make suggestions.  I came away with good ideas and options.

Then, they focused on me....asking about my health (high BP), sleep habits, anxiety, etc.  Their point was that I need to take care of myself if I'm to look after my mother.  Karen said that the first thing I would notice, with prolonged stress, was lack of concentration......and that has happened on a few occasions, but nothing I would consider serious.  And then there was this.....In an effort to spur my mother's interest, I removed some bushes in my front yard.  We are now trying to decide what to put there and I wanted to contact Ronnie at Lowes who helped us with the flower garden in the back yard.  We just showed up at Lowes day-before-yesterday and Ronnie wasn't' working.  So, we went home with the intention of calling before going back.  Today I called.  I spoke with Ronnie and she gave me her work times, lunch, etc.  So, after lunch I go to Lowes (Mama didn't feel like going).  I get there and am told Ronnie is off on Friday!  What?  I just talked to her!  Am I sure I talked with her today? (which really makes me wonder if I LOOK nuts!). Anyway, several people confirm that Ronnie is off today.  I'm driving away and decide to call the same number and find out whom I was talking to.....sure enough, Ronnie is at work, will meet me in the garden department, so I go back!  I ask someone different...No Ronnie!  I'm driving away from Lowes for the second time and realize that the number I looked up in the phone book this morning was Home Depot!!  Now I HAVE to see who this Ronnie is at Home Depot (and I tell her the whole story!)....and this Ronnie is as delightful and helpful as the Ronnie at Lowes.  I know I'm stress, scattered, spaced and several other things, but what are the chances of there being two women named Ronnie working in the garden departments at Lowes and Home Depot?!?  So, I think this major "lack of focus" is the Universe trying to tell me loud and clear to do things differently.  What a day!

I know this is long, but I can't end without commenting on the Republican Convention......can you believe them??  A sea of "white folks", reports of overt racism on the convention floor, cheers at the mention of guns, speeches unfettered by facts, overt self-promotion with no mention of the candidate......and Clint!!  In his rambling, the comment that struck me, and got a huge cheer from the faithful, was "we own this country"!  They want to "take their country back".....back from whom, the majority who voted for the President?  That kind of sums it up for me.....they feel they have more right to things than the rest of us. They are really scary and the fact that they increase their numbers by appealing to fear, religion, racism, any low denominator is despicable.  There must be good, conscientious Republicans, but if they allow that, they are colored with the same brush.  And I love how they can point to things like our credit downgrade, which was caused purely by the House Republicans.  Anyway, don't get me started.  It's like my 80+ year old idols Margaret and Helen say: "The convention is over and I for one got the message loud and clear – a bunch of white people hate President Barack Obama. But we knew that already."