It's Over........

Well, the election is over and I'm recovering from a long night.  It took Mitt a while to concede and once I'd heard his speech I had to hang in until the President spoke. While there was lots of tension at the beginning of the evening, things finally opened up and began falling into place.  It was a solid win for Obama and many Democrats seeking House or Senate seats.......all in all a much better outcome than expected.  There will be 20 women in the Senate, including a war veteran who lost both legs in Iraq (I think), the first Asian-American female Senator, the first openly gay female Senator, etc.  While things are not as good as we would like, the President has had a lot to deal with AND very little help from the opposition party.......despicable behavior at a time when our country needed everyone pulling together.  There were also lots of shenanigans going on to restrict voting rights, and my faith in mankind was restored by all those people who stood in lines for hours, jumped through the manufactured hoops and did whatever was necessary to vote.  They were truly impressive......and I'm thinking some of those nasty tactics may have backfired in a big way. Anyway, don't get me started.......but it was a sweet victory.

Our weather continues to be cool as another storm hits the northeast.  It's hard to imagine the devastation the people up there are dealing with, and they are hit again.  Even so, many of us have traveled to places where there would not be the immediate support and safety nets provided here, though I know if you're the one affected, things can't happen fast enough.  I do hope the weather holds off long enough for relief and rebuilding to happen.

We're trying to get ready to go to NC for the weekend.......my mother needs to pick up some winter clothes and it will be a chance for her to visit relatives and friends.  She mentioned taking Smokey (her cat) with us, but I immediately nixed that.  I've  given up trying to do anything with/around her house, so we'll use the time there however she wishes.  I'm getting better at choosing my battles!  Wish us luck!

My hope and enthusiasm after the election were dashed the morning after when the following comments were issued on Facebook - one by a relative and the other by a "friend" of a relative:

•  "Load your guns and sharpen your knives!"

•   "Anyone feeling the sudden unexplained urge to start stockpiling handguns, rifles and ammo?  Just saying.  I got this.....itch.

•  "I remember when America was......      Fill in the blank.  You've got four years to think about it.  Oh and there's probably more then one right answer!"

These people really are living in a parallel universe. It's so hard to understand what makes their American experience so different from mine.  That kind of response to an election absolutely stuns me!  They are the same ones who want "to take their country back" from those of us who won the majority in the last election.  It wasn't a revolution, it was an election!  Get a grip,

Well, my response was this:

I very rarely post anything on Facebook but decided to do so through the political season after another relative began posting lots of anti-Obama stuff.  My theory was that 1) if she was going to do that, she should be prepared to get the other perspective AND, 2) they all tend to think alike and zealously reinforce that thinking and I thought it might be "enlightening" for her/them to discover that not everyone thinks the way they do AND they actually know some of those people!!  I alerted my liberal FB friends, telling them my plan and asking for backup if needed.......but also asking them to be gentle, because any comeback would likely be from relatives!  I mostly used cartoons or slogans, with no personal commentary, and there really was no problem (that I know of....we'll see when we go up this weekend!).......and it did actually flush out a young cousin who was also for Obama.....and feeling very isolated!  She emailed me privately for a little discussion.  So, unless someone really ticks me off, that will be my last post for a while. 

I'm sure everyone is happy the election is over (no one more so than Democrats!), so I'll leave you with some final laughs.....and I'm glad we feel like laughing!

And looking ahead.....texting Hillary.

Hurricane Sandy and Other Things

We are happy and grateful to report that we hardly felt the presence of Hurricane Sandy.  She passed by here several days ago and was noticed only by an overcast day with a bit of wind and rain.  All things considered, it was very minimal.  I was expecting two "house bound" days when we only had one.  By mid morning of the second day, the sun was out.  She did usher in cooler temperatures and the wind has been gusting since then, but the sun is shining, which makes it all bearable for me. Thanks to all who have asked about our welfare.....it's nice to be thought about.

On Monday I took advantage of early voting, which in some ways was a discouraging experience.  This is a very red county/state and people were streaming in to vote early.  At that rate there should be very few people left to vote on Election Day!  So, I envisioned my one little Democrat vote being cast in a sea of Republican votes!  I can only hope the reverse is true in other parts of the country.  Now that I've voted, I called the Democratic Headquarters to volunteer to drive people to the polls. I've not be able to do much else, but this is something I think I can do to help.....and  my mother can even ride along, so we will both feel we're doing something for the cause.

Since my home situation and the election are not creating enough tension in my life, I've become addicted to Homeland!  Since I just get the basic cable package (I thought) I didn't even try to find it until several weeks ago.....and, lo and behold, there it was AND it was a marathon weekend reviewing season one.  I didn't get to sit long enough to catch every detail, but I did get the jist of the characters and the plot.  Each episode seems to leave me wondering where it can possibly go next......very good!

There was one very pleasant surprise this week......I heard from my longtime Canadian friend Jean, with whom I thought I'd lost contact.  She was having health problems at about the same time I became overwhelmed with caring for my mother.  Something happened with her email address and I never got replies, so I really didn't know what happened.  Somehow, after all this time, she figured out that there was an email problem and she got in touch.  She's doing well and it's great to be in contact again......there are hopes our paths may cross again.

On that positive note, I'll leave you with some political humor.......WARNING: Republicans without a sense of humor may want to stop here!

Lets start with Fox News and right wing media......

The Debates.....

For once I agree with Newt......now if he would just get back under his rock!

Republicans....

 Is this too harsh?

 

Happy Halloween...

 

And my personal favorite......

Things are Slowly Improving....

Wildlife scenes from our local paper....this is an Ibis (I think).

I'm still here and things are slowly improving, though I'm afraid to say that too loudly.  My mother has had four good days in a row........I've had two!  My mother's good turn is probably due to her meds.  She was prescribed 25 mg of Seroquel before all of this happened, but when she came out of the hospital, they reduced it to 12.5 mg (along with taking her off Ativan cold turkey and  Lunesta gradually).  After four days in bed complaining of everything and getting progressively agitated, I gave her the full dose again.  The doctor said it might be necessary as things progressed, and I determined we had reached that point.  After two days, she was out of bed and more "with it."  One of the nurses with Amedisys was amazed at the improvement and said it was the right thing to do......and it's nice to have things on a more even keel.

Osprey with catch.

As for me, I'm just bone tired.  Both last night, and as I'm writing this, I sat with a heating pad on my Ben Gay slathered neck and shoulders.  By the end of the day they feel totally locked and achy, with little mobility.  Though our weather has been great, I've only walked about 4 times in weeks, so my energy level is zero. Once I get going I can do pretty well; but, when I stop, the little energy I have evaporates.  Even so, as my mother shows improvement, I'm hoping for more normalcy, flexibility and relaxation.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Things have been like a three ring circus in that we have had a physical therapist in twice a week, a nurse twice a week and a speech therapist once a week. Even so, it is much easier than trying to get my mother to outside appointments.  They have all be helpful, kind and knowledgeable. It has also given me a lot of comfort to know they are here to call upon when needed.

As seems to be the pattern, I've had the revelation that things go easier for me (and possibly for my mother, too) if I stop trying to "fix" things that can't be fixed......or that depend on anyone else for it to happen.  The tendency is to want to fix whatever is going badly for those we love, but some things can't be fixed and it's best to acknowledge that rather than being caught up in trying to accomplish the impossible. The most I can do is make it as good a day as possible on any given day.  Like so many of these revelations, they seem clear and logical until caught up in the drama of the moment/crisis, and then they vanish into thin air.......but it's working for the time being.

The people in the background have to be tourists!!

In the midst of all this, I've done a will, Power of Attorney, Advance Directive and Health Power of Attorney for myself.  I know.  I know.......I should have done this long ago, but I'm just now getting around to it.  Everything is ready to be signed, notarized and witnessed next week.  I also managed to have lunch with a friend for the first time in a long time.....and it was great.  I got someone to come in and stay with Mama so I could really relax and enjoy the outing.

Politics also figure largely into my schedule......to the point of having "picture in picture" on TV, MSNBC non-stop, etc.  I'm greatly relieved that the President showed up for the second debate and did well.  We're down to 18 or so days until Election Day and I don't know if I'll be able to stand it.  We mailed my mother's absentee ballot today, so that's one more thing out of the way.......and I'm thinking of voting early.  I can simply by virtue of my age......how depressing is that?!?

Yesterday Mama was feeling better and needed some fresh air and exercise, so we took our chairs to the Church of the Cross and sat on the bluff overlooking the May River....pretty much the spot where this photo was taken.  My friend Cheryl is the person who took this beautiful sunset.  She's a kayaker and paddle-boarder and frequently posts some great photos on her Facebook page.  This one is especially nice.

On the Home Front

Well, I was going to tell you how Fall arrived right on schedule and how nice the weather has been, which it has.  Right around Labor Day the temperature dropped into the 80s and it's been wonderful for walking and everything else.  But, things have transpired to put all of that in the background.  On Friday, September 21, my mother went to her doctor for a regularly scheduled followup.  I had spoken to him privately about "sundowners" which she has been experiencing for some time and which seem to be getting worse (taking all of the bed clothes off and folding them up, putting her complicated ankle brace on in the dark, talking to people, etc.)....He prescribed Seroquel at that time.  I had the prescription filled but read up on it and decided to wait as it had very mixed reviews.  Since the sundowners continued, we discussed it during her appointment and decided to give it to her beginning that night.

While there, she asked about Gabapentin, which is a medication that a friend of hers said had helped her neuropathy.  This is something we have mentioned repeatedly to her doctor and it was like the first he had learned she had it!!  I was a bit perturbed by that!  Anyway, he said she could try it. On the way home I dropped of the prescription, to be picked up the next day.

So Friday night she took the Seroquel (a low dosage) and slept calmly.  The next morning she was more active and chatty than usual.....more herself, really.  She said she thought it also calmed her anxiety through the day, with the only drawback being that it made her a bit drowsey.  All-in-all at win.  In the meantime, I picked up the Gabapentin and she started that the following day. In a very short time I realized things were happening.......anger, agitation, etc., though I have to say that I've seen this before, especially when she's demanding to go home and stay.  It got so bad that on Monday I "ran away from home".......which proved a big mistake!  I spent Sunday cooking so there was lots of food in the house and I had lot of errands to run, so I excused myself and did them.  I came home around lunchtime and she was out on the front porch and Gabby was out, so I thought he had mistakenly gotten out and she was trying to corral him.  As I drove up, it scared him and he headed to the door, she let him in. By the time I parked and got in the house, she was in her room.  We had a brief exchange and I went back out to get the car washed and finish the errands.  Little did I know that she had become delusional and was imagining this scenario of people in the house hurting her.  There were drugs involved (possibly because of what the medication had done to her) and lord knows what else.  She was still angry and agitated Monday night, which was restless and fitful.  By mid-morning on Tuesday it appeared that she was tiring and settling in bed, so I took a shower.  Allan called as I was getting out of the shower, so I threw something on and we talked.  As we're talking, I hear someone knocking on the front door and my mother is there knocking as hard as she can, looking out the side panel and calling my cousin (who is not there) to come help her.  By the time I get there, she opens the door and goes out on the porch (in her pajamas, night cap, one shoe on and one shoe off).  When I try to approach her, she moves away and as I hold on to the back of her pajamas, she starts hitting me.  So, I move back, fearing that she will fall and really hurt herself.  She calls for help from passersby and then goes into the street.  Someone stopped and kept her attention until I could go in and call 911.  Once they left, she came back onto the porch and we sat there until the police and EMS arrived.  They could not have been better to both Mama and me.  By this time I'm pretty much a mess, too.  Since her heart was racing, they decided to take her to the hospital......I was stunned they would even consider not taking her and I think they realized that.....I don't know how I would have managed her on my own. We were in the ER from about 11AM until finally getting a room at 9PM.  That was an ordeal for me and I can only imagine how my 91 year old mother felt.  Once she was settled and sleeping, I came home for a partial night's sleep.  The next morning she was up and bathing (with the help of a nurse) when I arrived.  She appeared much better, although as the day progressed I realized she was still caught up in her imaginings......thinking the situation would be in the news, there would be a trial and that I was trying to hurt her!  She wasn't so out of it that she did everything possible to get to go home and, sure enough, she was discharged at 5PM!  We had dinner and she stayed up a while, before going to bed and appearing to sleep well.  But, the next day was like night and day....angry, agitated, etc. The following day was quieter and more settled.

The hospital made changes to her meds (including dropping the Gabapentin, which I had already done early on) and told us to see her regular doctor for a followup. We saw him on Monday of this week and they could immediately see a major change in her mental state, by then mostly confusion and major memory loss......and through it all her plea to "go home.....I want to go home!"  It's all just heartbreaking. She doesn't remember her doctors.  She doesn't remember that we were just in NC three weeks ago.  It's amazing that there can be such a change in that short time.  I was becoming more and more aware of confusion, memory loss and how she was appearing to cope......but this change happened over night....or at least over three days. Even today, she saw her eye doctor in the morning and by the afternoon she couldn't remember the details.....she remember we did something, but couldn't remember what.  Add to that the condition of her macular degeneration....she is legally blind now, but she does "see" things in motion, like rain, snow or smoke.  Riding in the car or trying to watch TV really confuses her and makes her feel sick.  It's a dreadful situation and I'm hoping things will settle as soon as possible.

In any case, her doctor recommended a home health nurse come by and make an assessment.  They set those wheels in motion and we were called at 9:30 on Wednesday by Susan, the nurse, asking if she could come at 10AM for the assessment.  She was thorough, friendly, supportive and very gentle with my mother....could not have been better.  From her visit, we have met Michael, the physical therapist, and Florry, the speech therapist.  I wasn't sure what a speech therapist would do, but she will help my mother with her memory and other procedures that might make life easier for her.  I've also received a call from another person whom I haven't spoken to yet so I don't know what their job will be, but I can tell you is that I am so grateful for their support and services, especially since they will happen at home and eliminate the stress and strain of getting to an outside appointment.

In addition to all of the comings and goings of those folks, my mother saw the doctor about her shoulder yesterday and her eye specialist today.  So it has been fast and furious....and pretty much exhausting.  The physical therapist is coming tomorrow and we are hoping to just have some time to rest over the next few days.  While I feel like it has been an ordeal, I can't imagine how difficult it has been for Mama and how frightening is must all seem. I'm doing my best but I have moments of total sadness and emotional collapse.  It's just a difficult time, though I do feel supported by the services provided and the kind, caring people who are helping.

So last night I was going to watch the debate for some reassurance and solace  If you watched and have similar political leanings, you can commiserate.  Cheryl and I "messaged" on our iPads, which was the only solace I received.  I'm sure the President learned from the experience and I don't think it will happen again, regardless of which Mitt he debates; but, boy was that a disappointment.  I think the fact-checkers will disprove a lot of Mitt's rhetoric, but the sad thing is that facts don't really matter.  I read today that many Ohioans think Romney had much to do with the killing of Bin Laden.  Now try to explain that!!  It all defies logic.

My Hometown...

Included in all of the crap I subscribe to on the internet are two sites from my hometown, Wadesboro, NC.  One informs of all upcoming events in town and the other is the newspaper, The Anson Record.  In one of them I learned that they were removing the facade from the old Belk's Department Store.  Belk's was one of the nicer department stores in many parts of the south and our little town was proud of have one.

This facade had, in my opinion, been an eyesore as it was totally incongruous with the rest of the town, but it had been there so long  (1955) that I couldn't even remember what was behind it.  So, when my mother and I were in North Carolina, I made a point to go up to see what was happening....and this is what we found.

What a beautiful, old building with character and charm!  I loved it!  As I was taking this photo, a couple approached and we began talking......they were there for the same reason!  He had gone to school at Wadesboro High School and now lives in the Raleigh area. She was the wife of Luther Morris, a (deceased) distant cousin whom I really did not know.  He mentioned that the movie theater had recently been renovated (which I also knew via the internet) and that it is now used for various programs.....and that if anyone was in the office next door, they would let us go inside and take a look.  So the day turned into a tour of my hometown!

The whole town centered around one major intersection.  This green space beside Belk's goes to that intersection and when I was a kid it was filled with a family owned jewelry store and Fox and Lyon's Drug Store, complete with a long soda fountain.  Unfortunately, it burned down many years ago and the spot stood empty and poorly tended.  The little bandstand is used for town functions and is an improvement over a vacant lot.

Below Belk's (going away from the main square) was a furniture store...and I can't remember what the other two shops were.  The white building at the bottom of the street was the mortuary.  Like many of the other businesses that once occupied these buildings, the mortuary has moved along the major highway.

One of the buildings is now being used as a consignment shop......and the Belk building is part of the county government buildings.

Consignment Shop

Directly across the street from the Belk building is the court house, which is very typical of small Southern towns.

It had recently been cleaned and looked very good. Unfortunately, the requisite Confederate soldier statue doesn't show up against the tree, but it's there! The building that you can see just beyond the magnolia tree is the Post Office.  I believe that some part of the court house was used in the filming of The Color Purple but I don't know the details.  Shortly after we were there, they did this in honor of those who died on 9/11.

A flag for each person who died on 9/11.

This pleasant  little rest area, a DAR Memorial, takes us from the court house to the main square.

From the square, we look straight down the street in the opposite direction.

The corner store on the right is the same drugstore that has been there as long as I can remember (directly across the square from Fox and Lyon's).  The buildings beyond the drug store now hold a bank and law offices.  The light, boxy building before the trees is the local library.  The corner building on the left was another fashionable department store but has now been converted to local government offices.  Immediately beyond that is H.W Little Hardware, another longtime business.

I was pleased to nab this photo off a web site because my father worked at Little's for many years before opening a small general store of his own about 5 miles out of town.  I went in recently and it really is much like it was years ago. Those old hardware stores are treasures and wonderful to browse in, if you can find one. In the old days, there was a dress shop and a florist below Little's.  You can see that along the two intersecting streets you could find everything you wanted and needed......life was simple!

If you walked past Belk's and Fox and Lyon's to the square and turned right, you would be walking down this street.  In my youth, there were two "dime stores" - Rose's and Eagles - along this street.  The store at the end of the street was a men's shop and the one next to it was Lillian's, a "high end" ladies shop.  Now I think there is a video shop and florist, along with some that are just empty.  Every time I see a street like this I always think how nice it would be if the upstairs were turned into apartments.....and somehow businesses could be attracted to the street level.  City management has probably thought of the same thing, so it must not be easy to do.

Along the "lower street" was the Ansonia, our local movie theater that closed many years ago, with the nearest one now being about 30+ miles away.  It was good to hear that it had been renovated and was actually used.  Unfortunately, the office was closed and we didn't get to go inside, but we will try again another day. 

It was along this street (near where I am standing when this photo is taken) that my mother's friend Ada had her beauty shop (and lived in an apartment behind it).  There was also a barber shop right beside it, along with a tea room.  And at the corner was one of  my favorite places.....Mack's Record Rack.

Mack's was downstairs and one of the unusual things about it was that it was owned and operated, lo those many years ago, by a black man, which may also account for the good music that appealed to young people.  Most of the records were 45s and he would let us listen to them before buying. This really did bring back memories.

While this whole little tour was unplanned, it brought back childhood memories and a bit of sadness.   It's sad to see those buildings languish...and good to see some effort being put into restoring and bringing some of them back.  Wadesboro is probably typical of many small towns where businesses have moved to hideous, flimsy strip malls along the major thoroughfare, leaving the older, distinguished  buildings standing empty and neglected.  While there is much to be done, it's nice to see that there is some interest in reviving the city center and I hope it continues.

That ends the tour.  Next time I'll give an update on the home front but thought you might like something different.  Anyone else from a small town like Wadesboro??

Official Wadesboro web site

Uptown Wadesboro

Wadesboro in Wikipedia

September Update

My mother and I are in NC.  We came up today (Saturday) and will probably go back on Tuesday.  She is always wanting to come home long enough to "get some things done"......meaning to come and stay.  Whenever we come for a short time, she "doesn't know where to start".  That truly is a problem when one is not willing to part with anything.  So, here we are, sitting in the midst of it all, which is really what she wanted anyway.....except she wants to do it until she dies!

Anyway, as those of you who know me might guess, my major source of enjoyment for the last few days has been the Democratic Convention.  And, boy, was it good or what!  It has been MSNBC or C-Span 24/7 except for the nightly analysis  by Stewart and Colbert!!  Could the differences in the parties and the people they represent be any more clearly defined than they were by these two conventions?   The energy was wonderful and exciting.  The diversity was great to see and the speeches were fantastic.....Michelle set the standard and Bill knocked the ball our of the park!  I thought Joe Biden was unusually sedate, but I think he had to set up the President, who did a wonderful job.  Those were certainly the highlights (along with Deval Partick and Jennifer Granholm), but keep in my that I start early and watch C-Span so I can hear all of the lesser known speakers, too.  I love it....and it could not have gone better!

My hope is that reasonable conservatives will finally be moved away from the dark side.  In fact, I was encouraged by a neighbor whom I met during my walks. I hadn't seen her in a while and when I was out a few days ago she passed by in her car and pulled over.  We usually chat about our mothers, but somehow we got onto the economy.   She described herself as an Independent and was talking about how bad the economy was where her daughter lived, which I took as a complaint against the President.  I said, "It sounds like you're leaning toward Romney".  I hardly had it out before she said, "NO!".....she thinks they're all psychopaths...her word, not mine. We then had a great rant!  It was fun and I think we were both happy to find a kindred spirit.  My hope is that she is a reflection of how other Independents and reasonable conservatives will view things.  I was encouraged....though I don't think we can take anything for granted.

I'm not sure how else I've used my time or where it has gone.  There is always something to do.  Now that my mother's vision has gone, she needs help with everything.....with things as simple as pouring coffee or milk, doing her hair before going out, selecting earrings/ jewelry (I tease her because she's meticulous about selecting her jewelry and then may forget her teeth!), getting shoes on the right feet.......all of the little things.  So everything takes more time and patience, and it feels that as soon as I get seated or settled into something, my services are needed.  While I have nothing worthy of mention, I've never stopped.....and some things just drag on and on: 

• I'm still working on the Aid and Attendance Benefits from the VA.  We just got her medical exam done last Friday.  There is still one more piece of information to provide and that process should be complete....Inshallah!
• Weeks and weeks ago we/I pulled and dug up four huge bushes in my front yard, leaving a bare space for all this time.  This past week we bought azaleas (thus precipitating the story of my feeble mind and the two Ronnie's!) and planted them.  Believe me, this isn't my thing but it is something my mother enjoys and it gets her outside........and, if I have company, I really don't mind it.....I just don't know anything about it.  There are still areas in the back yard that "she" wants to do, which means more digging for me!

 

From this....and overgrown mass of bushes (May)

 

 

To this....total lack of ability or knowledge!  (June)

To this....Two Sky Pencils and four Azaleas.....even now you have to use your imagination!!

I'm hoping these will look nice once they grow and become full. I have to come up with some mulch or ground cover and there is space for a bird bath....so still more to do, but I have a feeling it will be an ongoing project.

 

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We're home now (Wednesday) and had a relatively good visit.  My mother and I had our usual kerfuffles, but lots of the relatives visited and that part was unusual and fun.  I came to the realization that nothing is going to change with the house......she will not sell it or clear things out.  I keep thinking that if she did one or both, it would worry her less.  She is going to worry about something all the time and there is nothing I can do to prevent that.  Again, it is something I understand intellectually but it's very difficult not to be drawn in to trying to "fix it".  Anyway, I'm happy to be home!

Before we went up, we got a little marker for Tuffy.  He's buried between two Sago Palms right outside the sun room.

We brought back with us a small gym that my mother had for her kitties.....and they took right to it, although it's been empty since the photo shoot.

For something totally different......I love this, both the picture and the words, and am sending it your way!

Set your life on fire.

Seek those who fan your flames.

-Rumi